Diversions & Digressions | fanfiction by mara

An Immodest Proposal

An Immodest Proposal

by Mara

Summary: Henry has a proposal. Mike’s weirded out. Vicki doesn’t react the way
Mike expected.

Author’s Chapter Notes:

This ficlet has been eating at my brain. Maybe now I can sleep.

Continuity: Some generic time early in the TV series.

Henry Fitzroy leaned against the doorway to his apartment, looking elegantly
rumpled, and Mike resisted the urge to punch him just on principle.

“May I help you?” Fitzroy asked.

Mike gritted his teeth. “I’d like to talk to you.”

“Is this another conversation about my predilections for drinking blood? If so,
don’t bother.” Fitzroy’s tone was ironic and his face expressionless.

“No.” Mike took a breath. “Vicki’s barely talking to me since you and I last
fought.” He fought satisfaction as Fitzroy’s bored expression flickered. So he
was right, she’d gotten mad at both of them. “I wanted to see if we could get
over this.”

Fitzroy thought for a moment, then turned. “Come in,” he called over his

Mike followed him into the living room, sitting carefully on a chair as Fitzroy
sat on the couch he’d obviously vacated to answer the door. They sat in silence
for a long moment, Fitzroy seeming content to let him squirm as long as he
wanted, lounging even more elegantly. It was really aggravating.

“So,” Mike said when he couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“So,” Fitzroy echoed, looking amused.

Mike coughed. “Look, I want Vicki. I know you do too, but it’s not doing either
of us any good to fight over her.”

“I have noticed she’s not precisely flattered by the attention,” Fitzroy said.

“You can say that again.” Sighing, Mike forced out the words he’d come here to
say. “I’m sorry for what I said. You’ve helped her out and I appreciate that.”

Fitzroy raised an eyebrow. “I never expected you to say that.”

“Neither did I.”

Tilting his head, Fitzroy considered him. “I’m certainly willing to forgive and
forget if you are.”

“Good.” Mike began to stand up.

“However,” Fitzroy raised a hand, “I should note that there is another solution
to our dilemma.”

“Hmm?” Mike frowned at him.

“You’re correct that we’re both attracted to Victoria, but there is a solution.”
Mike’s hand twitched for the gun he wasn’t wearing. Fitzroy noticed and smiled
at him. “No, that wasn’t what I had in mind. Not that you haven’t tempted me to
kill you on a few occasions.”

“What *are* you thinking, then?”

“We could share her.”

Mike snorted in laughter. “What, like I get Monday, Wednesday, Friday and you
get Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday? Or maybe I get days and you get nights? Even if
she’d agree to that, it’s ridiculous.”

“No, that wasn’t what I had in mind.” Fitzroy leaned forward, eyes darkening.

Mike’s breath caught in his throat and he instinctively leaned back in the
chair. “Uh…I don’t…you’re not exactly my type.”

Still intent, Fitzroy smiled slowly. “That’s what I thought you would say.”

Mike decided he knew how that proverbial deer in headlights felt, as he froze,
unsure which way to run.

“I could make you do it, you know. I could make love to you right here and now.
And you’d enjoy yourself.” Fitzroy’s voice was smooth and low. “I have the power
and your mind is not nearly as strong as Victoria’s.”

It was hard to catch his breath. “Why don’t you?”

Fitzroy smiled and leaned back against the couch, eyes and voice returning to
normal. “Two reasons. One, whatever you may think, my partners have all been
willing for over 250 years, and two, Victoria wouldn’t like it.”

With great effort, Mike kept his voice calm. “And you care that much what she

“To my great surprise, yes, I do.” Fitzroy stood in a smooth motion and Mike
scrambled to his feet. “And you do as well, or you wouldn’t be here.”

Mike took a step toward the door. Not retreating. Absolutely not. “She was my
partner and friend before she met you.”

“True.” Fitzroy inclined his head.

“Well, that’s what I came here to say,” Mike said, walking toward the door.

Without making a sound, Fitzroy stood beside him, hand on the doorknob. “Leaving
so soon?”

“Yes.” Mike held himself very still as Fitzroy moved into his personal space.

Fitzroy smiled, as if at a private joke. “Then go.” He stepped back and waved
his hand grandly at the door.

Mike swallowed. And left.

* * * * *

His mind still a little shell-shocked and unsure what had just happened, he
found himself at Vicki’s door. It wasn’t the first time he’d wandered over at an
odd time of night, so she didn’t look *too* surprised.

“What’s up? Something wrong?” she asked with a yawn, waving him to her beat-up
couch, a far cry from Fitzroy’s elegant suite of rooms.

“No.” He slumped down, unsure what to say to her.

“So? Spill it.” She propped her feet up on the coffee table.

“I just came from Henry Fitzroy’s place,” he blurted out.

Her feet thumped to the floor. “Oh god, not this again. You came over here at
this time of night to start up the ‘He’s a dangerous vampire’ crap? I can’t
*believe* you, Mike.”

“Wait!” He held up a hand. “I went over there to apologize to him.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows rose. “Good for you. What did Henry say?”

A deep breath. Two. “He propositioned me. Said we could share you.” He waited
for the explosion.

Shrugging, Vicki leaned back. “Yeah, but did he agree to stop fighting? ‘Cause
I’m getting tired of it.”

He stared at her. “Did you hear me?”

“Uh-huh. He thinks you’re hot. Big surprise. He’s not exactly alone in that, as
you well know.” Vicki covered a big yawn with her hand. “Sorry, I’m a little
short on sleep.”

Mike had no idea what to say, so he just sat there.

Vicki sighed. “He’s a vampire who’s descended from royalty and you’re freaked
out that he’s *bisexual*? You’ve got some bizarre priorities.”

Mike leaned back on the couch and decided he hated his life.

“Just tell me you didn’t say yes.”

“What?” He bolted upright.

“Because if anyone’s going to share me, it’s going to be *my* decision.”

She grinned at him and he tried to decide if she was joking.


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