Diversions & Digressions | fanfiction by mara

Civilized in Externals

Civilized in Externals

by Mara

Summary: It was weird, Jim Kirk thought, the kinds of things people thought they knew about you, when they really had no idea.

Story Notes:
Another short character study. I wrote this one because I am contrary and stuff.
It was weird, Jim Kirk thought, the kinds of things people thought they knew about you, when they really had no idea. Like everybody seemed to assume that he’d been abused by his stepfather.

Maybe it was something about the way he talked about him, or the way he’d run the guy’s antique car off the road, or the way his actions looked reckless to others, but it never failed. At some point soon after meeting Jim, they all got *that look* in their eyes. Guys looked like they wanted to smack his back and be extra manly and women’s eyes softened and they sounded sympathetic.

And sure, he’d used that assumption to get a few people into bed, but c’mon, he was young and horny. It wasn’t like he’d ever made any claims or even *tried* to imply that his stepdad had abused him. (Hey, the guy was a jerk, but he wasn’t *that* bad.)

The first time he’d ever deliberately disabused someone of the notion was his first week at Starfleet Academy. Bones found him AWOL in a bar just off-campus and dragged him back before he got caught.

They’d stumbled back into Jim’s room and talked all night. And at some point, Bones got that look. And Jim frowned. “Nothing like that.”


“My stepdad. It wasn’t like that.” He waved a somewhat unsteady hand. “Don’t blame my behavior on him, okay? He didn’t do anything to me. It’s just…complicated.”

Bones had nodded and that was the only time they’d ever talked about it. But it made a difference to Jim, in a weird way, that he’d been completely honest with someone.

Bones had been the only one. But now…now there was a ship and all these people depending on him. And there was Spock.

James Tiberius Kirk had never lacked for buddies. He’d never lacked for people to go drinking or play ball or play a prank. But he’d had very few real friends. Until now. Now it was time to be sure he didn’t lie, even by omission.

Because Jim had finally found something more important than himself. Something called Enterprise.


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